Last Friday, I was sitting at my desk working on a project when my phone rang and I saw the HR guy's name on the I.D. and I thought "ohhh here we go". So I walked on over to his office, and when I got there I found him and my "boss". The reason I call her my boss is because I only talked to her like twice in the four months that I was in that position. I'm not saying she is mean person or anything. She was always extremely nice to me when we did speak, but it was just really strange. Not like any of the bosses I've had in the past. Any who, I knew what they were about to say I had a feeling this was coming. Unfortunately, events that happened in Japan led to our advertising budgets to be cut. There really wasn't anything for me to do at work everyday. Any who, they told me to shut the door and take a seat and then my "boss" started talking "We were so happy, and excited to have you join the team but...." then I tuned out everything she was saying. She just sounded like one of those Charlie Brown characters that just make that wonk... wonk... sound. Then I heard "its just not working out", "part ways" and "we hate this". So she said her peace and rolled on out of there and left me sitting across from our HR guy who I really like and grew kind of close to when I worked the front desk. He was like I don't want you to look at this as a bad thing! I couldn't stand to watch you sit at your desk and be miserable one more day. Which was the truth! I hated my "new" job/position with a passion! I didn't get a raise with the new title and was actually making LESS money than I made when working reception, which is really crappy! It lowered my work morale and made me feel like I was getting screwed over per usual! I was working longer hours and had soooo much more responsibility (in the beginning)! On top of that my "team" was very clicky, which brought me right back to high school and made me feel paranoid and awkward. For example, one Friday they went to lunch for two and half hours and didn't invite me! Like we sit in cubicles right next to each other, and they'd yell "hey are you guys ready?" "let me finish this email" and all that jazz right while I'm sitting right there! How am I supposed to feel a part of the team when they disinclude me! They also used to play this weekly game where they would collect "points" on something. I'm not sure what they were collecting, but they'd walk around and say "I just got one"! Like what the hell!!!! Then they'd tally all their points and the "winner" would get to keep the trophy (yes guys, a freaking gold trophy) at their desk the following week. I dunno, but it made me feel so stupid and awkward. Luckily, I had friends in other departments at the office, which made me feel better. I liked the people on my team. They were all super nice individually, but as a group they were different. I dunno... I'm not going to worry about it anymore and I wish them the best of luck in their lives. They are were extremely good at what they did! They'll do great things!
Back to the point.... The HR guy and I talked and he was very supportive and nice. He said he was going to help me find another job and he agreed with me that my team was clicky and all that stuff. He told me not to look at this as a bad thing, but as an opportunity to find a better job that makes me happy!The upsetting part that made me cry was not being able to hang out with my work friends anymore at the office, and I was terrified that I was going to be "escorted" out of the office, like I've seen happen to other employees in the past that have been let go. The last lady that got let go was escorted out by a security guy from down stairs and he watched her pack up her desk in to a box while I sat in the cube next to her. It made me feel sooooo bad for her... I had to get up and go sit in the front Cafe till it was over. I was humiliated for her and it was mortifying. I was TERRIFIED that what was going to happen to me. I expressed this to him and he laughed and said "you are a totally different situation. He was so nice and told me to go ahead and grab my purse and act like I was going to grab a coffee and he would call the office manager and get him to bring down my suitcase (I was leaving for DC after work).
I really hate goodbyes, and I genuinely liked working for that company! They did fun things and tried to create a fun environment for us, but oh well there will be a better job out there. At least I don't have to have a "what if" anymore. I know that I do not like advertising and do NOT wish to pursue a career in it anymore! Check it off the list Chappell! I'm glad I had the opportunity to realize this and I can move forward in a career that will make me happy. I know that if I did not have this opportunity I would always say "I wish I could have done something that related to my degree". Now the question is "What makes me HAPPY"?
It just really sucks because I'm the type of person that gets stressed out physically! Like in my head I know I will be okay because everything does happen for a reason and that I will be okay, but something else in body freaks out for me!! Friday night when I got to DC I couldn't eat dinner or even sit in the restaurant because my stomach ulcer was killing me!! We had to go home so I could go to bed because I was in so much pain. Then the next morning I woke up with a "Stress Rash" all over my leg and it hurts really bad! Like what the hell!!! Why does my body do this to me?!!
This past week I've received calls, emails, texts and Facebook messages from my friends at work shocked and offering words of comfort. I really appreciate them and their kind words. So I guess these next few days/weeks/months you guys will be following me in my quest for a new job. Hopefully, it take days and not Months. Ha ha... I leaving to go home for two and half weeks to explore an opportunity that has presented itself and see if its where I want to be. I will also be attending a wedding and a baby shower of one of my dearest friends who expecting a sweet baby girl! I'm actually really excited about the future! I think "I'll float on 'cause good news is on the way".
I came by this quote the other day and found if very fitting for where I am right now: "When Life takes you on a detour, just go with it. Could be God knows a shortcut that you don't..."
Heck, I made ten dollars off people clicking the ad on the side of my blog!!! Whoop Whoop!!!
Have a great weekend y'all!
